Friday, April 20, 2012

Show us your life....

Today Kelly is doing a show us your life, Moms who have lost children.

My son is gone. I am forever changed, but my God remains the same: GOOD

This is a group i would hope no mom would ever ever have to be a part of, but i am. My son Matthew passed away at 10 weeks and 3 days at home in his sleep, he was a healthy happy baby boy who has a twin brother Johnathan. He was so sweet and snugly and we miss him greatly still (it has been 8.5 years). Here is there birth story if you want to read more about that.

Burying your child is so so so difficult, words can not even describe. But God is so faithful he has continued to bless our lives with more children and there is not a day that goes by that i don't thank him for the blessing he has given us and for the time we had Matthew here on earth, i would not trade it for the world! I think as a mom who has loss a child i will always wonder what Matthew would have been like in each season of life,

I read this blog post a while back and something stuck out to me so much because after Matthew died i worried so much i was constantly afraid and fearful something was going to happen to John or the other kids and this spoke tons to me, it spoke to me tonight as i reread it!

Do you ever fear the unknown? Perhaps it’s your health or the uncertainty of your future. Maybe it’s the decisions your children will make about following God or following their peers. Fearing the unknown can cause us to spend precious energy anticipating the worst-case scenario. There are two problems with this type of fear:

• The future is not here.
• The future is not ours.

While the future may be out of our hands, it is not out of the hands of our faithful trustworthy God

When i see others go through tough situations it is so different when you know the Lord. Its like we know this situation is temporary, God is bigger than this and we will serve him no matter what. I don't know how families face things without God i don't, when Matthew died i would say constantly how do people let love ones go without the hope in the Lord, the hope that we will see them again. What a victory in Jesus right! I love this verse:

Isaiah 43:2-3 (New International Version, ©2011)

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Lastly i know God holds us close when we go through things like this and through him we can make it through!


  1. Very touching! Thank you for reminding all of us that our God is always with us! Your son is precious!

  2. Found your blog on Kelly's blog. I lost my son to SIDS is August of 2010. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to endure but I have had to learn the same lesson...our life is not in our hands, tough lesson and one that I still have to remind myself daily.

    Your son was so darling. I am so very sorry for your loss :(

  3. I was truly blessed to have got to hold your precious Matthew and I think of him often and every time I think of him, I can't help but remember how strong and courageous you were. You were so inspiring and amazing and your faith was announced to the rest of us who walked through this time with you!