How I have been

well i have been feeling like this!

i am not i repeat not a crier and i have cried about 4 times this week! once in front of my doctor! i went for a check up on my blood (i am very anemic) and she asked how i was feeling and i started crying i am sure she was glad she asked me LOL! i told her i felt like i was going crazy i was tired, frustrated, and not myself. so she reminded me that um "you are in the middle of RENOVATING a house, while living in it." oh yeah forgot about that not really but you know what i mean. she told me the stress of that and then anemic issue combined will make me feel the way i am feeling.

so lucky for my family i am not going crazy.... yet. i also cried 3 times yesterday once because i was hot, once because i was overwhelmed with my boys, and once because i missed Matthew. John was updating me on a man at his work who lost there baby boy a month or so ago he was a preemie i think born at like 20 something weeks and it reminded me of when the twins were in the hospital and then when Matthew died and the waterworks started again.

today i have felt better other than this headache i have had for like weeks! i think i need to drink more water like today i have drank like 4 ounces plus 2 sodas.

anyway there is my admissions for the day. oh yeah and it is so hot here! it was like 111+ degrees earlier this week! that has got to make a person cry right? right???????