Sunday, May 31, 2009

Competition

if there is one thing i cant stand it is mom competition. i think it is everywhere. i mean sure there are things that i see moms do that i think is SO odd like:

  • why is your 6 year old still drinking from a sippy cup?!!!!
  • why cant your 12 serve them self at a party
  • why do you cut your 7 year old child's food up for them.
  • is there a reason your 10 year old son came up interrupted your conversation by smacking you in the arm (i have a friend whose child ALWAYS hits them it is the oddest thing ever!)
  • why do moms feel they have to discuss for 10 minutes the reason we shouldn't ______ (you feel in the blank)
  • why cant they have birthday cake and a candy from the party bag
  • why  do you laugh when your kids are blatantly being disrespectful
  • why can one of your kids always do fun stuff but the other never can even breath right

the list goes on and on......... but whatever we may not agree on parenting but it doesn't make your view wrong and mine right or vice versa

my hubbie hates going to the park because he says all the moms are watching everyone else's kids, fishing for compliments like "oh your son is so cute, well behaved, etc etc..."  he hates it, i never realized it until last time we went and he wanted to leave 10 minutes after getting there. i am the mom who lets my kids run and around the park, be loud if you want i rather have them scream there then in my house or car right? then there are parents who are like "little Joey dont run you might fall" uhhhh you are in a park what is the big deal kids fall they get hurt, they get cut, sometimes they bleed. big whoop plop a band aid on and call it good. 

i read this post today LOVED it!!! especially the sunscreen part, my kids swim a minimum of 2 hours a day that is just at swim practices, usually it is more like 4. we ive in CA it gets over 100 degrees regularly they are tan..... hello! what is the crime?! they wear sunscreen but not SPF 60 every 20 minutes.

i think it all comes down to mom competition we all feel we have something to prove and we are already so competitive with other women/ moms that we cant even allow our kids to be kids. i don't care raise your kids how you want but please don't find me on the playground and tell me "excuse your son crowded my son down the slide, or touched my son" unless he threw him down and the kid needs to go to the hospital why cant we let kids deal with it, mommy doesn't have to mediate EVERY.SINGLE. OUTBURST. or argument a child ever has.

am i saying we don't need to explain how to treat people or things, how to be kind and compassionate to others NO i am not but honestly Joey is tuning you out after 10 seconds of "Now Joey when we yell at our friends blah blah blah...." most likely he wants to run and tell the other kid "you baby why you gotta be such a tattle tell". sure explain it to the kid quickly and let them play.

a really good friend once told me other moms aren't really watching your kids they are watching how you react to your kids. and honestly they are more worried about how there kids are acting then yours. she told me this because when i had one child i was always so worried what everyone thought of how my daughter acted because Lord forbid if she acted like a 3 year old when she was 3. don't get me wrong i still over react to alot of things but i think i have also let a lot of things go i am much more laid back then i used to be, and i know my friends are saying "oh my gosh i cant believe Raquel let her kids____" it is hard being a parent and trying to be perfect all the time.

so lets give it up ladies. cant we just encourage each other to be a good mom. stop being such a over achiever, most likely the other moms are talking about you when you leave anyway "she thinks her son/daughter is so perfect but all they are is a whiny baby" (j/k... kind of) seriously though cut yourself some slack not everything has to be such a serious issue.  i mean i am not striving for mother of the year i just don't want my kids to be rude, disrespectful, whiny or bratty.  other than that i will let them run, yell and get dirty they are 2, 5,6, and 11.

i am sure all my friends are crossing me off there playdate invites right about now...............

1 comment:

  1. You go girl! Thats what I love about you, your not afraid to tell people the truth. Thanks for the reminder. I'm sending the kids outside today even though I have no sunscreen ;) (we hardly ever wear sunscreen)

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