Momma needs a nap: Johnathan and Matthew's story

i was just getting down the 2 kid thing, taking Liz to preschool and getting in a good routine not to mention i was sleeping all night when i found out i was pregnant. David was 6 months old. i was shocked but excited. But nothing could have prepared me for my first OB appointment, we had new insurance so i had to see a new doctor and he did a ultrasound and immediately i saw on the screen two little sacs and thought "that's odd" i held my breath as the doctor told the nurse to look at the screen, i asked what was wrong he said nothing is wrong you are just having twins SCREECH "what?!!!!" "i have a 6 month old at home" he said "better hire a nanny" i left that appointment in a fog. i was never the type to want twins, you know you here people say all the time i would love to have 2 or 3 babies at once uh nope not me one was good i could handle one but 2 that was a whole other story. i left and drove to John's work it was a cold really rainy January day and i drove very slow to let it sink in and i had to tell John face to face he was shocked and could not believe it.

after the shock wore off the nauseous-ness kicked in and again i was sick the entire pregnancy. And i think i ate enough pb and jelly sandwiches to feed a small country. i would wake up every night at 2 am and eat 2 pb and j's and a glass of milk, i also craved lots of meat that pregnancy must have been the low iron. i was very anemic that pregnancy probably due to David's delivery still and i got my first iron infusions a few times a week. The boys were super active and i loved going in for my monthly appointment because i got a LONG ultrasound at every one, John went to that second appointment to really make sure there were 2 babies lol.

At my 20 week visit the doctor asked if i wanted to know what i was having and i said of course. immediately he could tell i was having 2 boys (boys are so not shy on the ultrasounds!) i was so excited i had really either wanted one boy and one girl or 2 boys. This was great i would have 3 boys all a little over a year apart i was due the middle of September. my pregnancy was pretty normal i gained 23 pounds that pregnancy so not too bad.

One Friday night in July we had some friends over and i walked in my kitchen and threw something away and i slipped, i didn't fall but i caught myself and immediately i felt the boys drop! i carried on with the weekend but i was not feeling great. We were supposed to go visit John's grandparents Sunday and see some family that came all the way from Louisiana and i had to make a huge serving of chili beans so Saturday after John, the kids and i ran some errands i came home and cleaned the house TOP to BOTTOM and made that chili, my fiend Liz came over and we watched a movie while John was at a wedding (i didn't feel good enough to go AT all) i should have known....

Sunday July 27th we got up and went to church i was so uncomfortable i couldn't even sit, i had to tell John we needed to go home so i could rest i took a nap then decided i would stay home while John went to see the fam with the kids. He did not want to go but hello i had made this huge batch of beans that needed to be delivered so he took the kids the hour to his grandparents and i slept. i started feeling worse and thought i should call my doctors office and see if i can change my appointment to the next day (was supposed to be Wednesday) well when i told the nurse how i felt she told me to go to the hospital and get monitored and make sure all was well i was hesitant i mean i still had 8 weeks to go. i went in the hopes that i would be home before John even got back.

At the hospital they monitored the babies for a little bit and they said i had quite a few contractions and i could possibly be in labor GREAT! (i called John who said "I KNEW IT, I SHOULD NOT HAVE GONE" he dropped the kids off and was there fairly quickly and they checked me and said i was definitely at a 3 and having consistent contractions, they immediately laid me down flat and started scattering while mumbling instructions. i was told they were going to insert a catheter, i would remain flat and they were going to give me Mag to stop labor and get some steroid shots in to develop the boys lungs in case they needed to deliver, she told me they would hope i could at least hold off 24-48 hours but hopefully 2 weeks! and i had to stay there. WHAT i had a baby and a 4.5 year old i could not just stay in the hospital. Well 20 minutes go by and i tell my nurse i needed to use the restroom , she said i didn't cause i had a catheter in and i said well it must be wrong cause i need to go, so she checks me and i was a 7! in 20 minutes i went from a 3-7 and i wasn't hardly feeling contractions (although the mag was working and making me SO loopy and hot and itchy). i was hoping to have a v-bac that delivery but after doing a ultrasound baby B (Johnathan) was breech so they wouldn't allow me to. they prepped me and we headed to the OR, John got to be in there that time. they warned me ahead of time of all the things that could be wrong with the boys and they would probably weigh 3 pounds, have no hair, and several other things. well they were born at 11:28 and 11:29 PM and weighed 5 pounds 8 ounces and 5 pounds 10 ounces, and were both 18 inches long! the boys were born on Sunday July 27th one week exactly after David turned one year old it was a odd delivery there were SO many people in the room just waiting for them to be born and get to work to stabilize them.

Although our boys were nice and big with full heads of hair =) they were not in great shape. Especially Johnathan (pic on left is Johnathan and I) he had to be fully ventilated for over a week and then on assisted breathing for another week and a half, Matthew needed a little help breathing but was "alright" they both got jaundice VERY bad and were under so many lights. they took a long time before they would do any feeding and although i tried to convince the nurses my dates must have been off since they were so big they were obviously 32 weekers =) They lost a good bit of weight while in the hospital Matthew went from 5 pounds 8 ounces to 4 pounds 10 ounces and Johnathan went from 5 pounds 8 ounces to 4 pounds 3 ounces.... Matthew stayed in the hospital for 4 weeks, and Johnathan for 5 weeks it felt like forever but it was a chance for me to heal and get some rest (other than going back and forth to the hospital which is not very restful lol)

101_4356 when we brought them home they were on a great schedule and slept so well, by a few weeks of being home they were sleeping a good 6 hours at night and we were adjusting great. David adjusted REALLY well (i think he was too little to know what was happening) and Liz of course was excited she didn't get to hold or see either boy except through the glass at the hospital until they got home. this picture is the first time Liz got to hold Matthew.

As i am sure you all know if you read my blog when the boys were 10 weeks old on October 23rd Matthew passed away, that was by far the worst experience of our lives but God was showing himself so real to us and we had a lot of friends and family support through that very difficult time. although it didn't seem like it could ever be ok, God was making lemonade out of lemons. at Matthews funeral so many people came and got to hear a powerful message and some even began attending church and seeking him.

funny i went from this girl who never wanted twins to begging God to give me back my baby. i feel like we missed out on so much with our boys, just the weeks they were both here and alive it was amazing seeing that bond they had to one another.